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People on HGTV shows:  wow this house is perfect and it's $150,000 less than our budget! Look at the open concept floor plan! Oh but wait... the master bathroom doesn't have a double vanity! I hate this house let's leave right now

japaneseanimes:

I tell my girlfriend I am hornet. She thinks it’s typo, but she’ll find out soon enough.

As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to turn you on at the most inappropriate of times.

neptunain:

go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

blunk182:

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

caswithashotgun:

caswithashotgun:

"if you don’t consider breasts sexual organs then why do you care if i grab them"
well EXCUSE ME BUT IF I JUST STRUTTED UP AND GRABBED YOUR EAR AND FELT IT UP LIKE MMMM YEAH BABY I BET YOU HEAR REAAAL GOOD WOULD YOU NOT BE UNCOMFORTABLE

glad to see y’all spreading the word